The strange world of luxury fashion never ceases to amaze us. Tiffany & Co. recently released its newest collection of luxury home items called “Everyday Objects.” The collection takes ordinary household items—such as paper cups and air vent grills(?)—and turns them into the stupidest flex items of all time. The entire collection is covered with Tiffany’s iconic sterling silver and blue colors adorning products like a $1,000 sterling silver tin can or $9,000 sterling silver ball of yarn.
If overly embellished pencil holders and paperweights isn’t your lifestyle, the collection also features some slightly cheaper items to flex as you approach your mid-life crisis. There are the $650 ping pong paddles or $1,500 “Building Blocks” that are basically Tiffany’s take on legos. There’s even a silver protractor to measure the 90-degree angle you’ll hold when you realized you dropped half of your paycheck on a $425 math instrument.
The most ridiculous item in this collection has to be the $575 silver Tiffany paper cup, modeled off of the same pretentious blue coffee cups sold in Tiffany stores.
The company even released an entire editorial revolving around this shiny cup. Here the cup is described as “a perfect vessel” that is “timeless, meaningful, purposeful” and”redefines everyday luxury”—proof that you can “turn anything into art.” Gimme a break.
Yes, these wonderful, basic Tumblr girl-esque photos will convince us all to dish out hundreds of dollars for a tiny silver flower vase or a paintbrush holder. Thanks Tiffany. I’ll stick to using old cans of Cafe Bustello. Maybe I’ll buy that Tiffany Pizza slicer if it makes the miserable experience of Papa John’s taste any better.